April 28, 2005 Update-

April 19, 2005
New Student Elections. New Government. And it didnt cost trillions of dollars. . .

Hey, who knows, maybe we even GAINED some SPIRIT POINTS.



(Above) Picture By: Mr. Kite

With such catchy phrases as "In the cool-o-meter, it says Vote for Peter" and "Dont have a cow, Vote Robau", Peter Robau was really quite the dapper young deligate that this school's student body both needed and wanted. I even recall election speeches, wherein Peter managed to cut ALL of the bullshit from his speech and still got a damned standing ovation. People like the guy, i like the guy. And the 1 minute speech floating in 3 minutes of intermittent explosive applause? The kind of stuff that makes legends (that and Revenge of the Nerds sequels).

More pics, never before released: Classy and Silver Surfer.


Dont get me wrong, the elections went off without a hitch and were full of spirit im sure, but something rubbed me the wrong way with every reference a candidate made to Spirit Points. How many Spirit Points they raised. Spirit Points. Ok people, what the fuck is a spirit point? I have TONS of spirit, and if anyone knows where I can find a bank to cash in- tell me. Hey, I'D BE RICH!
Its obvious that in this school, even though they may beleive that spirit points are for the betterment of the students, the truth is that all the addicts and drug dealers that our dean knows of but does nothing about (no one is complaining, hey) have already unbettered the school pretty damn well. To the extent that no amount of Spirit, points or religious, could ever repair the morale. Keep in mind, though, that no one (investor) outside of the school really knows about anything that happens within the establishment. So long as nothing leaks on the internet, its all good. A decent student body with plenty of spirit looks really nice on the brochure for a quiet, tucked away school on the bay.
Im sure that plenty of thought-criminals, even outside of Le Resistance, have figured out by now what Spirit points really are:

'Sprit Points' are, in effect, this schools richeous equivalent to souls in hell.

You sell your soul to the devil for your hearts desires (a seemingly fair deal), while similarly you sell your time, commitement, and 'Spirit' (similar?) to the school for money. An insingnificant amount of money made payable to the expenses of the class regarding trips and ceremonies and whatnot, when the same amount of 'time and dedication' could be taken to a real job and turned into a much greater amount of cash even at the minimum legal salary. The money would, in that way, be left in the hands of the student committe for a change (as opposed to the fascist dicatorship giving the final 'ok' on every expense). Then, and only then, would we really be testing the competence of the student board. At such a time the elections would actually amount to something as well. But until that time I'd rather make pointless posters, talk in the back of the assembly during speeches, and stare at the ceiling just to pass time in order to avoid frying every one of my braincells trying to figure out why the students haven't seen the method behind the madness and done everything in their power NOT to cooperate in the schools hellish game of heirarchy.




Legit Letter Submitted to the Office Below (Posted April 28, 2005):
Reproduced below is a web-friendly [heavily censored for YOUR safetly] version of the proposal letter that was ACTUALLY presented to -a- school dean in regards to the serious threat that foreshadows doom onto . . . that particular school. None other than Heraldo The Great himself (named so in tribute to the Geraldo the Great, the greatest fox reporter of all time) came to me with this document he typed up with Da Infamous BD. To see an MLA formatted copy of this text (.wps) click here (this can be tricky, involves right click downloading and then changing the file extension).


Student Rights Committee
Proposal Letter

To the [School Name Withheld] Administration:

This letter is being written out of desperation by the executive officials appointed to the Student Rights Committee. The issue discussed today deals with the increasing penalties for late students, latest references show that a fine of up to 5 American dollars may be demanded in compensation. This change in student-administration relations affects both parents (who pay the money) and students (who see the money being paid and feel remorse for their evil misdeeds).

Inspired by how well the school has dealt with the threat of student tardiness, we (executives of the SRC) have decided to reach out to you (administrators) and voice our growing concerns. Numerous teachers have begun to participate in a trend that is now growing rapidly in popularity, this practice has been dubbed by the SRC as “Extremely Late”.
With all the attention on students, I think this harmful trend “Extremely Late” is being overlooked. Whenever an educator at LaSalle is “Extremely Late”, he/she takes away from the [Withheld] community, stealing the life force that holds this educational establishment together. Children’s minds go to ruin and atrophy slowly for lack of better instruction and/or stimulation. The essence of the student plight is captured beautifully in this student generated complaint (below):
Whenever I come to school every morning, I am always in ‘The Zone’. I come to work hard and get a good solid education that will benefit me in the future. My parents and I slave over multiple jobs just to make ends meet in a lifestyle that can include formal education. Whenever a teacher is late, it puts my daily routine out of balance with the cosmos. My world collapses. It totally throws my chi. When I see the sun rising at its regular time and I find myself out of my dojo, I feel like I die inside. . . Like everything important in my life is passing me by. It feels so wrong. Starting classes late is like. . . Going to school without eating my breakfast. Its like. . . wearing shoes on the wrong feet. Its like. . . Going to bed without brushing my hair.
-Anonymous

And this concern is not isolated. Hundreds of students face a similar problem every day as a result of “Extremely Late”.

Another interesting aspect of this problem regards the physical limitations that are challenged every time a coordination of teachers pulls an “Extremely Late”. Repeated offenders in this cause, Mr. “*” [Withheld] and Coach “[Withheld]” Gr***e, both instruct in the same facility. Two classes of heavy-set athletic children loitering the hallways for extended periods of time tests the very foundations of the already questionable “90* building”. Such tremendous weight on the testy second story balcony could easily result in a catastrophic collapse under certain conditions. Such a collapse would both crush Mrs. Har**s immediately as well as destroy thousands of dollars in valuable musical equipment below. Now, who would want to see such a gruesome thing? No one. No one in the SRC would like to see that anymore than they would want to see Mr. *ro**y fired immediately (for being a genuinely great person).

On top of this, late teachers tax the school in yet another way. Often, to cover for lost time (that was wasted frivolously during the standard “Extremely Late” routines), “Extremely Late” teachers will ride into class quickly on sanitation Supervisor H*mb*rto’s professional employment tool of trade. This has often been carelessly referred to as the H[Withheld]mobile, despite the demeaning nature of such name. Treating the vehicle as a plaything, teachers end up wasting hundreds of pennies in gasoline and automotive servicing every year! On top of that, whilst teachers may save their own agendas from collapse they simultaneously waste even more pennies of Humberto’s expensive professional time in the process.

And finally, the last threat deals with medical liability. Students wandering corridors aimlessly are at a greater risk, positioned outside, than students inside for the danger of contracting the infamous West Nile Virus. This Virus is carried by female mosquitoes indigenous to the South Florida region, right where [-a-] school is located! The school would be held responsible in the event of such an infection, undoubtedly.

To conclude, our proposal is as follows:
For every teacher late and on every occurrence, 5.00 American dollars should be automatically deposited in every student’s private account (deductible from [Withheld] High School Payroll). And of course, to further prevent the problem, 5 dollars should thenceforth be mailed to every [Withheld] student who has graduated or has been expelled in the past 5-7 years. How would such a maneuver work? Simple mechanics. Just as students feel severe remorse after seeing their parents pay hefty fines, “Extremely Late” teachers will, in fact, feel similar or even greater remorse for each dollar they witness being paid directly from the school into the student body. And similar to the student situation, teachers further repent and really really learn their lesson with every additional dollar added on to the restitutions.

Sincerely,
The Student Rights Committee